Dr. Tony Zimbardi, PsyD, LMFT

Author of : Forever Dads

Phone Number: (323) 851-1304

E-mail: drtonypsyd@sbcglobal.net

11271 Ventura Blvd., #289
Studio City, CA 91604


Book Cover Forever Dads

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Chapter samples available:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Another kind of Pride

Southern California Pride season usually opens in May with Long Beach Pride and ends in November, in Palm Springs. Well, Antonio and I haven’t made it to a single pride event so far this year; and it isn’t looking good for the rest. Truth be told, we didn’t make any last year either. I wonder, as the first generation of gay men and women to grow up out of the closet, if after 25 years of rainbow flags, coffee mugs, mesh tank tops, leather Teddy Bears and disco dance tents, perhaps we aren’t simply becoming anesthetized to any sense of our own gay pride—or could we simply be evolving?

Those were the thoughts running through my head on L.A. Pride weekend as we drove down Wilshire Boulevard Saturday morning foregoing pride events for new car, uh, make that dad-mobile, shopping. Suddenly we were at our destination, the VW dealership.

Antonio and I are probably the only two gay men in Los Angeles who have never owned an SUV. Now however, with our planning on adopting two kids, suddenly an SUV feels like a practicality rather than a gay fashion statement. We walk through the lot with a very straight-looking, more likely than not, “hetero,” Latino car salesman; and he asks Antonio, “So what makes you think an SUV might be right for you?”

“It’ll be for the kids,” Antonio responds.
“How old are they?” asks the salesman.
Without yet saying the word “we,” Antonio replies, “Not sure, they’ll be adopted sometime this year.”
And without missing a beat, the salesman replies, “That’s great, congratulations to the two of you, I’m sure you’ll make great parents.”  Wow, I thought, times are changing.

The next morning as people, pets, and floats gather along Santa Monica Boulevard for the Pride parade, we’re driving out to a discount store in the Valley to purchase bunk beds. Antonio asked the salesman about mattresses. The salesman inquires,
“How old are the kids?”
“We’ll, they’re not here yet,” Antonio replies.
“We’re hoping they’ll be between 3 and 5 years old,” Antonio continues “And neither one of us has any experience picking out kids mattresses or dealing with issues like bed-wetting. Can you make any suggestions?”

At that point the furniture salesman turns and says, “Wow, that’s great that you guys are doing this. Now as one dad to another, let me tell you, you’ll need to get some waterproof mattress pads from Kmart, you may want to get some foam padding as well to make it more comfortable for the little ones, and then put the foam padding between the mattress and the mattress pad…”

And on and on did this guy go, a very experienced and again, obviously straight dad, offering some wisdom and fatherly advice to two expectant gay ones. As we got back in the car, I thought to myself that maybe there is hope for our kids’ futures; that maybe they really will grow up in a more tolerant world where gay and straight dads offer one another support and advice. It seems to be already happening. And suddenly, as we drove home with bunk beds in tow, I was overcome with a renewed sense of gay pride.

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